If you think 50 Shades of Grey is fifty shades of cray, then you’re living in the right city because a just-released study has concluded that of the 50 major cities in America, El Paso is the least kinky.

The website Kink University, which I’m pretty sure, is not an accredited college, studied the 50 most populated cities in the country and assigned rank based on the percentage of the population that identifies as kinky, the number of people who are members of a kinky social network site, and porn buying stats. And very few El Pasoans, it turns out, hook up a car battery to their genitalia -- or whatever it is that passes as kink these days. El Pasoans, it seems, are the least comfortable at letting their inner freak flag fly.

So where do all the pervs live? Portland, Oregon, tops the list, believe it or not. San Francisco, New York, Chicago, Washington D.C., Los Angeles, Seattle, Boston, Philadelphia and Las Vegas round out the Top 10.