IT'S ON!!! PETE WENTZ vs ASHLEE SIMPSON: It's starting to look like the ASHLEE SIMPSON/PETE WENTZ divorce is going to get nasty! Wentz filed legal papers yesterday asking a judge NOT to give his soon-to-be ex-wife primary physical custody of their two-year-old son Bronx, as she's requested. Why, oh why, must the beautiful people be so ugly to each other!!!

ROMANCE REPORT: EVA LONGORIA and EDUARDO CRUZ were spotted at Chateau Marmont in L.A. ...

Macking!!! ...

2.) ISAIAH MUSTAFA, you know, The Old Spice Guy -- would like you to know he's NOT dating KATHY GRIFFIN. "I think she's amazing...but I just happen to be a single man."

So has he at least hit dat??? Quote, "I like redheads." That doesn't sound like a denial. You think he's gettin' all smoove up in Kathy but he's just too embarrassed to admit it? Would you admit it?

CHARLIE'S SHEEN-ANIGANS: Like the man has said, you're either with CHARLIE SHEEN or you're with the trolls. And according to the warlock himself, former "Two and a Half Men" co-star JON CRYER is "obviously" with the trolls.

Charlie went off on Cryer yesterday, upset that Jon hasn't reached out to him. He tells E! News, "Jon has not called me. He's a turncoat, a traitor, a troll. Clearly he's a troll." And if Jon calls Charlie now? "What's there to say?" Charlie says. "I'll tell him, 'You're a little late. Goodbye, troll.'"

2.) The supposed final episode of Charlie's webcast, "Sheen's Korner", aired last night. The good news this time is he didn't look and sound like a jonesing crack addict. He appeared to be showered, rested and relatively coherent.

In this episode, Charlie referred to himself as the "Malibu Messiah" and said his termination from the sitcom "was completely and entirely illegal." He then went on to taunt CBS head honcho Leslie Moonves and show producer Chuck Lorre, whom he referred to as "Chuck E. Cheeseball, (Crap) brain, Maggot, Little worm and "(Eff) Borre."

RadarOnline has the video and transcript HERE.

3.) Charlie also took time out of his day to text PEOPLE magazine. Sheen wrote: "Put yourself in my shoes for one warlock nanosecond. At some point there is nothing to say. Only war to wage … The winds are howling tonight. The gods are hungry. The beast is alive. And awake. And deadly."

LOHAN LUNACY: LINDSAY LOHAN reportedly plans to sue the jewelry store that has accused her of theft for having sold the surveillance tape of her shopping there in January. Linds is crying foul because she never gave them permission to use her image.

In a statement, the store says it was "beyond (their) control -- the flood of the requests to see this video were simply too overwhelming. It was truly necessary to put it out."

They added, "With regard to the question of Lindsay Lohan's guilt or innocence, we repeat that Kamofie and Company never gave permission to Ms. Lohan to remove the necklace from the store. The rest is up to the jury."

(--"Entertainment Tonight" released more of the video yesterday. This time, they aired the part where Lindsay actually puts on the necklace.)

COULD BE TRUE, COULD BE CRAP: Today's New York Post Page Six offers up this tidbit: Next time KIM KARDASHIAN or LINDSAY LOHAN is in town and you want to get a hold of them, ask the hotel operator to put you through to "Princess Jasmine" and "Linda Lovelace" respectively.

The gossip site claims Kardashian uses the name Princess Jasmine, after her Halloween costume from 2009, and Lohan uses the Lovelace moniker after a role she was eventually passed over for. K im's rep said, "No comment." Lohan's rep didn't get back to them. So it must be true!

F.Y.I, I check in under the name "Rex Galveston" after my first pet and the street I grew up on. No, wait! That's my porn name!!!