This week, soccer player David Beckham showed off his considerable assets while simultaneously promoting his new bodywear collection with H&M.

Prompting us to think, "Why hello there. How polite of you to carry a salami around in case we get hungry."

It's moments like this we're sad that all his beauty goes to waste on the dour-faced Victoria Beckham. If he can't make her smile, all hope is lost.

Based on the accompanying video for H&M (which features Becks running around L.A. in his skivvies because his wife caught his pants in her car door and drove off with them), the campaign is obviously geared toward women who want their men to look like the soccer star. Because wearing his underwear will achieve his near god-like perfection, of course.

Check out the short film below to see that underwear in action, and try to ignore the fact that he could've just gone inside and gotten a new pair of pants. Why would you spoil a perfectly good visual with something so logical?