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The Stupid News - Page 9

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Mike’s the Stupid News: Robber Gets Trapped between Bank’s Glass Doors

A wanna-be bank robber was arrested after getting trapped between the double glass doors of a Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania Citizens Bank when a quick thinking employee activated the built-in safety measure.

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Native American Patrol Officer Holds A Bag Of Marijuana On The Tohono O'Odham Indian Re
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Mike’s the Stupid News: Man Arrested after Asking Cop to Retrieve Dropped Bag of Weed

I honestly don’t know what a Louisiana man was thinking when he allegedly asked a police officer to help him find a bag of marijuana he'd misplaced, but maybe that’s why they call it ‘dope’.

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stick shift_Ian.Kobylanski
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Mike’s the Stupid News: Stick Shift Leads to Carjacking Fail

Police in Knoxville, Tennessee say two men tried to jack a car, but were foiled by the stick shift.

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flickr/Joe Shlabotnik
flickr/Joe Shlabotnik
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Mike’s the Stupid News: Man’s Attempt to Surprise Girlfriend by Shipping Himself to Her in a Box Almost Ends Tragically

A man in southern China recently tried to think outside the box in order to surprise his girlfriend, but he ended up almost dying in one instead.

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Michael Loccisano, Getty Images
Michael Loccisano, Getty Images
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Mike’s the Stupid News: Would You Pay 16 Grand for a Pair of Elvis’ Dirty Chones?

Let me preface this by saying I’m as big an Elvis Presley fan as the next guy. But it’s one thing to call yourself a fan, and a whole ‘nother to spend thousands on a pair of his stained underwear.

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scotch-bonnetpeppers_Tom Purves
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Mike’s the Stupid News: Man Caught Shoplifting Hot Peppers After He eats one and Starts Vomiting

Marcus Banwell of Bristol, England found out the hard way how hot a chili pepper can be after he shoplifted a handful from a local grocery store. And he might’ve gotten away with it, too, if he hadn’t tried to eat one right then and there.

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cigarette pack_tinou bao-flickr
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Mike’s the Stupid News: DUI Suspect Thought Cigarette Pack Was His Cell Phone

A Florida man, who had been involved in an accident, was reportedly in such a drunken stupor, he tried to make a call using a pack of cigarettes.

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Christina Barany, Getty Images
Christina Barany, Getty Images
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Mike’s the Stupid News: Michael Jackson Spotted in Bird Poop [PHOTO]

The image of Jesus has been seen on everything from a sock to, most recently, a burrito. But it’s a good thing Jesus does not make appearances in bird poop, because that would be downright blasphemous. Evidently however, Michael Jackson does.

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Beeville Bee-Picayune
Beeville Bee-Picayune
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Mike’s the Stupid News: Jesus Spotted on a Burrito

There’s been another Jesus sighting; this time on a breakfast burrito.

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Marion County Jail
Marion County Jail
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Mike’s the Stupid News: Florida Woman Drives Topless, Leads Deputy On High Speed Chase

A Florida woman who led police on a car chase had a revealing reason for her crime: she was driving topless!

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Youtube
Youtube
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Mike’s the Stupid News: Man Hospitalized After Shooting Fireworks Out Of His Butt

An Australian man is recovering after nearly blowing his butt wide open with fireworks. The New Zealand Herald reports the 23-year-old, who fortunately for him has not been identified, shoved a few firecrackers between his cheeks and then for whatever reason lit them.

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stupid_thief-bat
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Mike’s the Stupid News: Listen to Audio of Robber Getting Cracked on the Head with an Aluminum Bat

Earlier this week, 46-year-old Horatio Coates of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma put on a pair of underwear over this head to disguise himself, then entered his local Dollar General store with the intention of robbing the place.

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