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The Stupid News

The Stupid News

Pittsfield P.D.
Pittsfield P.D.
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Massachusetts Man Arrested For Making Out With Cardboard Cutout Of A Woman

A Massachusetts man was arrested after trying to have his way with a victim who couldn't say a word to stop him ... because she was made of cardboard! Charlie J. Price, a registered sex offender, walked into a Pittsfield pharmacy, approached the sunglass display and, according to the Pittsfield Police report

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Mike’s the Stupid News: Prisoner Gets Paroled but Borrowed Cell Phone Gets Him Five More Years

DOH!: Dwayne Kennedy has been in prison in California since 1990. Originally for throwing a guy out of a moving car, then later has some extra time tacked on for stabbing a fellow inmate in 1994.

Finally, after more than ten years of being rejected, Kennedy got the word he’d done his time and was going to be paroled.

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via Las Cruces Sun News
via Las Cruces Sun News
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Mike’s the Stupid News: Las Cruces Woman Stabs Boyfriend who Denied her a ‘40’

Look, I love drinking 40s as much as anyone from Las Cruces. I mean, you give me 40 ounces of King Cobra or Colt 45 and I'm not leaving my trailer for a while. But they're not worth what a Las Crustacean did for one the other day

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Forsyth County Sheriffs Office
Forsyth County Sheriffs Office
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Mike’s the Stupid News: Bank Robber Uses Furnace Filter as Disguise [PHOTO]

HE HAD NO FILTER: A bank robber in Georgia managed to make off with some treats after tricking a teller with the worst disguise ever --a furnace filter that he held in front of his face!!!

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Mike’s the Stupid News: Bad Handwriting Foils Man’s Robbery Attempt

HE DIDN'T HAVE THE WRITE STUFF: A wanna be bank robber in Delaware is no doubt cursing his cursive after his attempt at a bank robbery failed because the clerk claimed she couldn't read the handwriting on his hold-up note!

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Martin County Sherriffs Dept.
Martin County Sherriffs Dept.
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Mike’s the Stupid News: Florida Man Tries to Pass off Taco as I.D

A Florida man who was awoken after being passed out in a drive thru lane answered a police request for his ID by trying to hand them a taco. Officers approached a passed out Matthew Falkner in his vehicle

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via Smoking Gun
via Smoking Gun
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Mike’s the Stupid News: 71-Year-Old Woman Busted For Having Sex in Her Car

PROOF THEY ALL LOOK PRETTIER AT CLOSING TIME: A 71-year-old woman in Michigan was busted for doing the boom-boom in the back of a Buick. Rita Daniels put the moves on 54-year-old Tim Adams, and lured him to the Buick for some late night action.

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Malone Police Department
Malone Police Department
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Mike’s the Stupid News: Man’s Plan to Kill Ex Involved Dressing up in Bear Carcass [AUDIO/PHOTO]

MAN PLOTS FAKE BEAR ATTACK: The Associated Press reports that Clyde Gardner, of Malone, New York, came up with an unusual plan to get revenge his ex-girlfriend: kill a bear, skin it, and then dress up in the carcass and attack her.

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Iowa City P.D.
Iowa City P.D.
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Mike’s the Stupid News: Woman Denied Sex; Goes Berserk

LACK OF SEX DRIVES WOMAN CRAZY: Cops in Iowa City, Iowa were called in to control a woman who went nuts when her boyfriend refused to share his down there parts with her.

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Mike’s the Stupid News: Phony Cop Foils Phony Robber

PHONY COP BUSTS PHONY ROBBER: A woman who tried to rob a Florida convenience store with a fake gun had that attempt foiled when a clerk summoned his inner fake police! Wilnelia Caraballo was wearing a clear plastic mask and carrying an "Uzi-type" toy gun when she approached a clerk and demanded cash.

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Mike’s the Stupid News: Hit man falls in Love with Target. Fakes Her Death with Ketchup [PHOTO]

LOVE NEVER DIES: Brazilian housewife Maria Somoes suspected her husband was having an affair with a woman named Iranildes Araujo and was understandably furious. So she hired a hit man

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Mike’s the Stupid News: Fired up over Fast Food

A Kansas City, Missouri, man is in jail today after allegedly threatening a Taco Bell employee with a shotgun. According to police, Jeremy Combs, got his food at the Taco Bell drive-through window, drove home, and then went back to the restaurant with his shotgun after he realized there were no packets of hot sauce in his bag.

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