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I'm dependable, forthright, have my own fax machine, and I smell good. I like to laugh, and watch kittens and dogs do adorable people things. One day I hope to become a handsome billionaire.
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Jeoffrey Maitem/Getty Images
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Hollywood Dirt – Toxicology Reports Show Bieber was High on Weed and Pills + More

REPORT SHOWS BIEBER WAS ALL HOPPED UP ON WEED AND PILLS: The results of the toxicology report are in, and it turns out JUSTIN BIEBER was all hopped up on marijuana and prescription pills the night of his arrest in Miami Beach.

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Getty Images
Getty Images
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Hollywood Dirt – Kanye West $ettles Alleged Attack + More

KANYE REACHES SETTLEMENT OVER ALLEGED ATTACK: It really pays to get beat up these days. Just ask the guy who got pummeled by KANYE WEST. Remember when West allegedly beat the crap out of some 18-year-old guy who supposedly said a bunch of racist, vulgar stuff to him and KIM KARDASHIAN?

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iStockphoto
iStockphoto
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You’ll Never Guess Why Man Claims He Had Sex with Sheep

Back in September, 61-year-old Paul Lovell of London, England was caught doing unspeakable things with a sheep. Well, he’s on trial now, and before you get all judge-y about his preference in partners, Lovell revealed a perfectly good reason for getting all smoove up with livestock.

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Getty Images (2)
Getty Images (2)
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Hollywood Dirt – President Obama to Consider Deporting Justin Bieber? + More

MOVE TO DEPORT JUSTIN BIEBER HAS STARTED: A lot of people are apparently so fed up with JUSTIN BIEBER and his behavior that now there's an online petition on the White House website demanding President Barack Obama deport "the dangerous, reckless, destructive, and drug abusing, Justin Bieber" and revoke his green card.

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